Meant to Be
by CleverChaos
Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

… **..**

The images filled her head.

The sounds of Arizona's screams, the memories of Meredith's breaths slowing as she died beneath the wreckage of the plane. Christina sobbing over Meredith's cold, bloodied body. Derek's body hanging limp over the front of the plane. Every time she closed her eyes, there they were.

And today was no different.

Lexie woke up screaming Meredith's name, tears streaming down her cheeks as her fingernails dug into the sheets. Alex shot up next to her, pulling her into his arms as she tried to control her breath. It wasn't the first time he'd stayed with her since the plane crash.

"Lexie, you're fine. You're at home." Lexie pulled away, rushing out of the room and into the nursery. Zola was sleeping in her crib, safe and happy as she dreamed. Lexie lifted Zola up, careful not to disturb her as she moved to sit in the rocking chair. Zola grabbed onto her shirt unconsciously, though the gesture soothed Lexie.

After everything Lexie had been through with Mark's children, it was almost as though the world was playing a cruel joke by making her Zola's legal guardian. Though, in all honesty, Lexie loved being with Zola more than anything.

Lexie rocked Zola gently, humming to her as she slept peacefully. It could've been minutes or hours later that the little girl began to wake up.

"Good morning, sweetie." Lexie kissed Zola's cheek, getting up to change her diaper. "You're the cutest baby in the entire world, yes you are," Lexie cooed, distracting the toddler so she could change her clothes. Lexie handed her off to Alex while she got ready for work, and by the time she got to the kitchen Zola was happily eating her eggs and fruit. Lexie ate a piece of toast as she went around the kitchen cleaning up after Alex's mess.

Alex and Lexie had gotten into somewhat of a routine, taking care of each other and making sure that Zola was always happy and taken care of.

Within fifteen minutes the three of them were in the car, heading to the hospital. Lexie never knew she could miss surgery as much as she did at that moment. She wanted nothing more than to hold a scalpel and cut into something.

"Take it easy, will you? I really don't want to have to put you back together after you screw up a surgery." Lexie rolled her eyes at Alex's harsh words, knowing it was just his stupid way of showing he cared.

"I'll try not to kill someone, don't worry." Lexie patted him on the shoulder as he parked, wasting no time getting out of the car and taking Zola to daycare. The little girl patted her cheek lovingly as they walked, and Lexie couldn't help but smile and hold Zola just a little bit tighter.

Lexie was just leaving daycare when she saw him. _Mark._ The man she'd been actively avoiding since the plane crash. She hadn't even spoken to him at Derek and Meredith's funeral, despite how much she'd wanted to. He called out her name, but Lexie turned and walked away towards the surgical wing, knowing what would happen if she talked to him.

Lexie glanced at the OR board as she passed, but she stopped in her tracks as she read her attending's name.

Shepherd, Amelia.

"Lexie, are you okay? Lexie?" Avery's voice pulled Lexie back to reality. The look on his face reminded her of how residents would look at her after the shooting; Jackson looked at her as though he thought she was going to break down at any moment.

"Mind your own damn business." She snapped, turning and walking over to the residents' lounge. Lexie sat down on the bench, taking deep breaths as she tried to ignore her frustration.

"Lexie Grey, right? Meredith's sister? I remember you." Lexie's head whipped to the entrance, finding Amelia casually leaning against the door frame.

"It's great to see you again, Dr. Shepherd." Lexie forced a smile before quickly changing into her scrubs.

"I'll pretend that isn't a complete lie. I know you wish my brother were here and, honestly, so do I, but you're stuck with me." The two completed rounds before Amelia led Lexie to the CT booth, scans still up on the screens.

"Oh my god, what is that? An aneurysm?" The words left Lexie's mouth the moment she caught a sight of the screen. It was quite possibly the largest brain aneurysm Lexie had ever seen.

"It's the motherlode of all aneurysms. And guess who's going to help me clip it tomorrow." Lexie stared at Amelia, suddenly realizing just how similar she was to her brother. "Derek thought you were meant for this. I hope you don't disappoint." Amelia added, handing Lexie the patient's chart as she walked over to the nurse's station. Within minutes, Mark approached her.

"What do you think about Lexie Grey? She spent a lot of time in Derek's OR before, he even had notes to write a recommendation for her." Amelia questioned, still unaware of Mark's history with her.

"Well, she was his wife's sister…and she's definitely talented. Take it easy on her, she's been through a lot." Mark's eyes followed Lexie as he spoke, his mouth turning up into a smile as he saw pure excitement on her face.

"You like her." Amelia laughed, shaking her head as a nurse handed her a chart.

"I love her." Mark sighed, walking away as an idea planted itself in Amelia's head.

Meanwhile, Lexie spent hours in the lounge examining the medical history of the patient and every scan she could find. For the first time in months, she felt like herself, like who she had been before the plane crashed. She wasn't just the sad girl who had lost her sister and inherited her niece in one fell swoop.

Her pager beeped, pulling her out of her thoughts as she ran to the ER. By the time she got there, Amelia was already waiting outside of the elevator trying to rush up to the OR.

"I have a patient with acute subdural hematoma, you're scrubbing in." Lexie nodded, grabbing the other side of the bed as they got him up to surgery. By the time they both scrubbed in and Amelia began the craniotomy, the patient had started coding.

"Give me the paddles, now!" Amelia lifted the paddles, placing them on the patient's chest. "Clear!"

"We have a rhythm." Lexie declared in relief as Amelia composed herself before continuing with the craniotomy.

Hours had passed by the time Lexie and Dr. Shepherd had completed the surgery, and Lexie was exhausted. Skipping sleep to cuddle with Zola hadn't been the greatest choice this morning.

"I'm impressed, Grey. You did well, considering it's your first day back in surgery." Amelia commented, removing her surgical gown as she exited the OR.

It wasn't until she was standing in the scrub room that it all hit Lexie. She froze momentarily before the sob left her throat, thoughts of Derek flooding her mind. The sobs turned into laughs within seconds, though Lexie still wasn't entirely sure if she was upset or happy. All the while, Amelia just watched, entirely confused at the scene. One look at her face sent Lexie into another bout of laughter.

"I'm sorry. It's just, you're exactly like him." Lexie's laughs died down as she spoke, and she exhaled loudly as she wiped her tears away. The two stood there in silence for a few moments before Amelia interrupted.

"You and my brother were close, right?" Lexie nodded, not sure where the conversation was going. "Can I meet her? Zola, I mean?" Amelia's expression had shifted from confusion into what seemed almost like fear.

"I can make that happen…you are her aunt, after all." Lexie smiled, understanding how Amelia was feeling. Lexie had only known Meredith for years, so she couldn't imagine how much more devastating it was for Amelia having lost the brother she'd known her entire life.

Lexie left Amelia in the scrub room in search of an on-call room, knowing she'd need a nap if she was going to make it through her shift.

She could already feel that today was going to be a long day. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

"I seriously don't get it. I tell you that Mark Sloan is in love with you, and you brush it off like it's nothing!" Amelia was ranting at Lexie as they stood in the new kitchen of the dream house, making breakfast. Lexie had finally chosen to move into the new house, feeling like she owed it to Meredith and Derek to raise Zola here. What she hadn't expected to deal with was Amelia constantly dropping by.

"I know that he loves me. He told me after the plane crash when he thought he was going to die." Lexie continued cooking, ignoring the look of exasperation from Amelia as she continued. "A few days before the accident I gave him this super long speech about how I love him so much that it hurts." Lexie sighed, turning off the stove and turning towards Amelia.

"Then why the hell aren't you with him? What changed?" Lexie opened her mouth to respond, but Lexie really wasn't sure why she hadn't gone back to him yet.

"My entire life changed. It's not just my life to think about anymore." Even Lexie knew her words didn't sound convincing, but she couldn't help but glance over at Zola, smiling as the little girl bounced up and down impatiently waiting for her oatmeal.

"Mark is a parent too, Lexie. I don't see an issue here." Amelia slapped her hand down on the counter, though, once again, Lexie didn't respond immediately, choosing to watch Zola instead.

"Our history is the issue…we've broken up twice already and it won't be easier with two kids in the mix. If a relationship fails twice for the same reason, isn't that an indication that I should give up?" Lexie sat down to eat her breakfast, knowing Amelia wouldn't drop the subject.

"That's a load of crap! The reason your relationship failed was because you weren't ready to raise a child, but guess what, you _are_ raising a child now. The problem isn't a problem anymore!" Amelia walked over, smacking Lexie's arm as she sat down next to her. "Your relationship may have ended, but you still love each other. I'd consider that a success."

Lexie sighed loudly as she rested her head on the counter. Amy was right; she had basically spent the last two months avoiding Mark when she could have been working to resolve their issues.

"Okay, at least tell me this. Are you planning to talk to him soon?" Amelia broke the silence. She'd been trying to set the two of them up for weeks, but Lexie had resisted every attempt. She was tempted to just lock them in a room together.

"Give me a break. I'm scared, Amy. I'm scared to get hurt and that I'll somehow hurt him. I'm scared to tell him that a part of me wishes that Meredith and Derek could have lived instead of me, and that's why I keep pulling away from everyone." Lexie's words were harsh, but she couldn't deny that she was angry that she had survived, no matter how irrational it was.

"Lexie…Derek was basically a brother to Mark. Do you think he wouldn't understand that you would give anything to have your family back? If you keep pushing Mark away, you're going to lose him again." Once again, Amy was right and Lexie felt like an idiot. Lexie hadn't been the only person on the plane who lost their family. She'd been so preoccupied with her own feelings that she hadn't even stopped to consider Mark might feel the same way.

Zola slammed her hands down on her high chair impatiently, pulling Lexie out of her thoughts. She made sure Zola's food wasn't too hot before sitting down to feed her. Lexie really did love being around Zola, but couldn't help but feel guilty for her being happy in a world without Meredith and Derek.

After feeding the toddler, Lexie went to the bedroom to quickly dress herself and Zola before heading to work. It didn't take long to get to the hospital and, as usual, Lexie ran into Callie and baby Sofia as she was dropping Zola off at daycare. The two kids usually had at least one or two playdates a week, though Lexie always made sure to plan them on nights she knew Mark wasn't watching Sofia. Lexie was being a coward and she knew it.

The two women dropped the kids off and began walking to the surgical wing together. Despite their differences, Lexie and Callie had formed somewhat of a friendship after the plane crash.

"How is Arizona?" Lexie asked, knowing the subject was still touchy.

"She's fine, still driving away all the nurses. She also refused to speak about the meeting with the airline representative tomorrow." Callie seemed exhausted.

"I forgot about that." Lexie's good mood was immediately deflated. Tomorrow they'd be meeting with lawyers to discuss whether or not they should file a lawsuit against the airline.

"I'm sorry for reminding you." Callie rubbed Lexie's arm comfortingly before the two of them went their separate ways.

Today was a big day: Amelia was finally letting Lexie do a major brain tumor resection on her own. She'd resected a few small, straightforward tumors, but this one was insane and beautiful in the way it managed to grow. In the last few weeks learning under Amelia, Lexie had clipped aneurysms, performed solo craniotomies, and had operated and assisted in multiple tumor resections.

Even though her personal life was in shambles, Lexie had never been so confident in her abilities as a surgeon. Her good mood slowly came back as she prepped herself up for the surgery. Lexie wasted no time going to the OR and scrubbing in.

Time seemed to be moving in hyper speed and before she knew it, Lexie was standing in front of her patient. She took a deep breath, glancing at Amelia momentarily before proceeding,

"Scalpel," Lexie's voice was calm and unwavering. She was ready for this. She positioned her scalpel perfectly before making the first incision. It didn't take long for Lexie to complete the craniotomy, finally starting the tumor resection. Everything was proceeding smoothly as she located the tumor and patiently made the first cut.

That was when the frantic beeping started. The patient was starting to code.

"Crap, there's swelling and fluid. I need suction." Lexie's voice was no longer calm. Amelia stepped in to help, directing Lexie as she tried to locate the bleed. The frantic beeping shifted to a steady drone.

"Damn it, v-fib. Get me the paddles." Lexie stepped back, rushing to start compressions on the patient. She charged the paddles and tried to resuscitate the patient.

"Lexie, she's gone." Amelia's voice was soft, but Lexie refused to listen, charging the paddles once more. It could have been seconds or hours later that Amelia pulled her back, gently coaxing the paddles out of her hands. The entire OR stood in silence.

"Lexie, she's gone. You have to call it." Lexie stepped back as Amelia's words finally struck her. Instead of saving her life, Lexie had just killed a woman.

"Time of death, 11:34." Lexie's voice was flat as she pulled away, roughly ripping her mask and surgical gown off as she walked out of the OR. She walked into the first on-call room she found.

She couldn't believe how upset and angry she was. Her major tumor resection, and she had killed a woman.

The patient was a mother. Lexie had killed a mother. She had just taken a child's mother away.

Lexie let out a yell of exasperation as she slammed her hand against the door. In a split second, without thinking, she balled up her fist and punched the wall beside her, letting out a load groan as pain radiated through her arm.

"Oh fuck!" Lexie yelled, cradling her arm as she slid onto the floor.

"Lexie?" Lexie shrieked as Mark suddenly emerged from the bed behind her, immediately moving to take a look at her injured hand.

"Oh, this is just perfect." Lexie muttered, pulling her hand away from him.

"It doesn't look broken. What the hell happened?" Mark asked, gently taking her hand back into his own as he continued examining it. Lexie didn't speak, though she couldn't deny that just having Mark around made her feel better. "Lexie, come on, tell me."

"…I lost a patient who had a young child. It just hit me a bit too close to home." Lexie figured she might as well be honest. Mark knew her too well.

"I'm sorry." Mark softened his tone, and Lexie relaxed as he finally let go of her hand. "It's just bruised." Mark dropped her hand onto her lap and pulled away.

Amelia's words from earlier reverberated through Lexie's mind.

"Mark, wait." Lexie's hand shot up, grasping his arm. Her words came out before she could stop them. "I…I'm…I'm still in love with you."

"What?" Mark hadn't expected _this_ to happen today.

"I still love you…I'm don't want to rush into this, but I still want to be with you." Lexie barely had time to react as Mark gently kissed her. He'd been waiting to hear those words from her for a long time, and he sure as hell wasn't going to waste another moment.

"I love you more than you know, Lexie Grey. I'm yours."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

Lexie was officially on a high. She had just resected a pituitary tumor, all by herself, and she had done everything perfectly. Her surgical streak was slowly but surely coming back.

Amelia had been somewhat of an older sister to her, wanting to teach her everything she knew, which meant Lexie was quickly becoming a talented neurosurgeon.

"Lexie—Lexie, are you listening to me?" Amelia slammed her hand down on the counter of the nurse's station, shocking Lexie out of her inner musings. "You better not be distracted tomorrow. You have a solo cranioplasty to perform."

"Me? I'm doing it?" Lexie had never assisted on a cranioplasty, just seen one done. She was genuinely surprised Amelia trusted her enough to let her go solo.

"Pretty much, though Sloan and I will be there to make sure you don't seriously disfigure the patient." Amelia slid the chart over to Lexie, walking out before she could complain.

Amelia had been planning this for weeks, trying to find an opportunity to force Mark and Lexie to operate together. Lexie had confessed her love weeks ago and had been interacting with Mark, but they still weren't really making any progress towards actually being together romantically.

Amelia had never been one for matchmaking, but it was Mark. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Mark Sloan wasn't the type to fall in love, so she was willing to help him out.

Meanwhile, Lexie scanned through the chart. She tried not to think about being alone in an OR with Mark for hours. Lexie still felt flustered whenever she was around him. It was like they had just started dating, despite their lack of actual dates.

Not to mention, she was still trying to come to terms with the settlement with Bayview Aeronautics. The lawyers had shown her a number, but Lexie couldn't help but listen to the thought in the back of her mind telling her not to take it. Lexie had even gone to visit the hangar where the remnants of the plane were held. She wanted to see it for herself before choosing not to file a lawsuit. The decision needed to be made by today afternoon.

She was so distracted, she barely noticed Mark standing next to her until he pushed a cup of coffee into her hand.

"Oh, thanks," Lexie smiled, grateful for the caffeine. She still hadn't been sleeping much, usually spending most of her nights holding Zola while she slept.

"So, let's discuss our cranioplasty patient." Mark took a sip of his coffee, trying not to be too concerned by Lexie's distraction. He expected it would take time for her to recover from the loss of her sister, but it had been months and she was still punishing herself.

"Jonathan Krieger, he suffered a severe traumatic brain injury which resulted in a major skull defect, and the plan is to repair using a titanium plate." Lexie recited, brushing off her problems for now. The patient was more important than her issues.

"He's been waiting for this surgery for over a year, but I trust you." Lexie smiled at his words, feeling confident once more. Lexie hadn't made a move yet, and as a result Mark hadn't made a move either. They were stuck in a loop of inactivity. They hadn't exactly been communicating effectively.

Lexie sighed as Mark walked away, wanting nothing more than to pull him back and kiss him. She was about to take another sip of her coffee when someone ran into her, nearly toppling her over.

"Wilson, what the hell are you doing?" Lexie's tone was harsh as she addressed her intern. After Christina had left for Minnesota, Lexie had basically become her, which meant all of Lexie's interns were positively terrified of her.

"I have your labs, Dr. Grey." Jo held out the labs.

"I've been waiting for those for over an hour." Lexie yanked them out of her hands.

"I had to do an admission—" Lexie cut her off.

"Stop making excuses."

"Sor—"

"Stop apologizing. Just stop talking." Lexie looked through the labs. "His lactic acid is normal. What does that tell us?" Jo just stared back and Lexie sighed. "You can talk now."

"That he's probably not septic, so he's gonna be fine…although his white cell count is elevated so I should probably keep an eye on that. In fact, I will keep an eye on tha—"

"Go to the pit and try not to kill anybody." Lexie turned away and Jo shivered as she scuttered away. It wasn't that Lexie was trying to be a bitch, she just couldn't be bothered to be nice to them.

"Impressive," Bailey's amused voice piped up from beside her, "I didn't expect that level of intimidation from you."

"Well, I consider that a compliment coming from you." Lexie responded, closing her charts as she flashed Bailey a smile. Lexie made her way to the cafeteria before plopping down next to Alex, Jackson, and April.

"What's this I hear about you screwing every intern, are you gonna say goodbye to your fan-club before you leave?" Lexie asked, nudging Alex as she started to eat her salad.

"I've been saying goodbye all day." Alex smirked, bumping fists with Avery.

"Gross." April shuddered. Lexie nodded in agreement. She glanced over to the table of interns, who all immediately silenced as they noticed her. She narrowed her eyes before continuing to eat.

"Since when do you terrorize interns?" April asked, while Alex and Jackson both just stared at Lexie, not knowing what to make of her behavior.

"I'm not terrorizing them, I'm making them stronger surgeons." Lexie retorted, finishing her salad. She tossed it in the garbage before heading to O.R. three for a minor kyphoplasty. The surgery didn't take too long, though as Lexie headed to the resident's lounge to change for the meeting with the lawyers, she wished it had taken longer.

Lexie had just finished changing when she heard a knock at the door. She turned to see Mark leaning against the doorway.

"You ready?" Mark asked. Lexie simply shrugged in response, though his smile slowly melted away her anxiety. As usual, just his presence was enough to make her feel more comfortable. They made their way to the conference room, where Callie and Owen were already waiting. Once they were seated, Callie started talking about settling when Lexie interrupted her.

"We can't do this. We can't settle…I saw the plane. If we agree to settle, they'll investigate and we won't be able to do anything with the results."

"Bayview Aeronautics will take the results and act accordingly," The airline representative piped in.

"I'm sure you'll be very thorough. Big companies are always very good about self-policing." Lexie didn't exactly trust their statement.

"Lexie, accidents happen. We make mistakes that cost lives too." Callie's voice was lifelessly flat. She didn't want to be here anymore than Lexie did.

"Yeah, we do. But when we do, we have M&M's, we pore over the files, we make sure it doesn't happen again. We make sure that no one else will need to suffer that grief. We can't let this happen to other people's Dereks and Merediths. We have to do _something_." Lexie's voice broke as she said their names, and Mark moved to hold her hand under the table.

"If I could interject for a moment…" the hospital representative spoke hesitantly.

"Be quiet." Mark's cut her off.

"Your decision needs to be unanimous."

"I said be quiet." Mark repeated, turning to Callie. "Callie, what are you thinking?"

"My advice at this time—"

"Shut up!" Mark and Owen yelled simultaneously. The representative finally took the message and stopped speaking. Lexie turned towards Callie, waiting for a response.

"Lexie's right. We shouldn't take the money…we can't." Callie's voice was soft as she pushed the settlement papers away from her. The rest of them followed suit. The meeting was wrapped up pretty quickly after that.

Lexie hightailed out of there as soon as possible, wanting nothing more than to go home and cuddle with Zola. Mark followed her through the hospital, not wanting to leave her alone. He knew Lexie well enough to know she was only pretending to be okay. Lexie had a tendency of bottling everything up until she had a mental breakdown. Before she could run away, Mark grabbed her arm and led her into his office.

"Lexie, look at me." Mark coaxed her to face him. She stopped with a sigh, hating that she was upset. Lexie was so tired of feeling this way. She was alive, wasting her life on being sad and ignoring the fact that Mark was right in front of her, just waiting to make her happy again.

Mark's blue eyes bore into hers. Before she could even process what she was doing, she had pulled him down into a kiss. Mark's hands grasped her waist, causing her to moan into his mouth.

"I miss you." Lexie whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. Mark wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, loving how perfectly she fit.

"You don't need to miss me. I'm right here." Mark reassured. Lexie kissed him again, pushing his jacket off. His hands began traveling up her shirt. Mark finally pulled away, much to Lexie's displeasure.

"Lex, we can't." As much as Lexie wanted to keep going, she knew he was right. "We always rush into things." Mark comment made her laugh. It was so true. Most of their relationship issues stemmed from one or both of them rushing into things.

"We'll take it slow this time." Lexie declared, backing out of Mark's arms. They had both admitted their love and were slowly becoming comfortable with each other again, for now, that was enough.

"Yeah. Slow. We can do that." Mark agreed, knowing full well that the plan would go out the window as soon as they were alone again. The two of them left his office before heading to daycare to pick up their kids. As soon as Zola was in Lexie's arms, the tension of the meeting with the lawyers disappeared.

"Hi Zozo, I missed you." Lexie cooed, kissing the toddler on the cheek as she put her head on Lexie's shoulder. Sofia laughed in Mark's arms as he kissed her face and Lexie couldn't help but smile.

Maybe everything would work out after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

" _Lexie, I love you." Mark's voice was hoarse. Though Christina had drained the fluid around his heart, it had taken hours for them to realize he had cardiac tamponade. Lexie couldn't help but feel like it was her fault; she'd been so focused on grieving her sister she hadn't even stopped to worry about Mark._

" _You don't have to say it just because I said it." Lexie's voice broke as she pushed his hair out of his forehead, trying not to cry. Her sister and Derek were dead, and she didn't even want to think about losing Mark too._

" _I do, I love you. I've always loved you." Mark whispered. He was probably dying, and she couldn't do anything about it._

" _You have to stay alive, Mark." Lexie demanded, still stroking his hair. "You have to stay alive, because we're going to get married." Lexie's tears started to flow freely. She couldn't imagine a life without Mark Sloan. "And we're going to have two or three kids." Lexie smiled, leaning down to kiss Mark's forehead._

" _So, Sofia can have siblings?" Mark whispered, smiling at the thought._

" _Yeah...a girl and two boys, and we're going to be so, so happy together." Lexie's voice broke but she ignored her tears as she reached down, taking his hand in hers. She was trying to keep him awake and responsive for as long as possible. They'd almost lost him once already._

" _We're meant to be, Mark." Lexie whispered._

" _Meant to be…" Mark trailed off, smiling as he closed his eyes and lost consciousness._

Lexie woke up with a gasp, panicking slightly until she realized that Mark was sleeping beside her in the on-call room.

"Dream again?" Mark mumbled, pulling Lexie into his arms. Lexie gladly snuggled closer to him as she tried to calm down. She'd been having nightmares constantly; the memories of holding Meredith as she died, huddling for warmth with Cristina, and spending days awake to make sure Mark didn't die were still haunting her.

"Yeah." Lexie whispered, sighing when she felt Mark press his lips against her forehead. The sweet moment was ruined when Jackson and April stormed into the on-call room, immediately starting to make out without realizing they weren't alone. Lexie's mouth was wide open, she definitely hadn't expected these two to get together.

"Ah! Stop!" Lexie yelled when Jackson and April started to strip.

"Oh my god!" Jackson exclaimed, finally noticing Lexie and Mark, who were now both sitting up and staring at them. April shrieked and immediately hid behind Jackson as she found her scrub shirt and pulled it back on.

"Wow, when did this start?" Lexie asked, trying to push back her laughter as she gestured between the two of them. After all the times April had caught Lexie and Jackson in the act, this was just ironic.

"Oral boards," April blurted, ignoring the incredulous look on Jackson's face. April blushed profusely and exited the room, pulling Jackson out with her. Once the two of them were gone, Lexie finally burst into laughter.

"You okay?" Mark asked cautiously, not knowing what to make of Lexie's reaction.

"I'm good, I'm so good. I'm happy he's with someone else." Lexie shook her head in amusement. Her pager went off and she sighed and grabbed it, giving Mark a chaste kiss before leaving the room and meeting Amelia in the surgical wing.

"Jane Kramer is here for her parietal glioma resection and I'm gonna let you take the reign, I'll just be assisting…Also, are you planning on telling Mark about your oral boards anytime soon?" Amelia got straight to the point, ignoring the surprised look on Lexie's face.

"Wait, how did you know I'm taking my oral boards?"

"Mass Gen and Hopkins have both called me to ask about you, so it wasn't hard to figure it out." Amelia explained, grinning at the shocked expression on Lexie's face. "So, when are you telling Mark, because I think he deserves to know if you're gonna leave."

"I'll tell Mark soon, don't worry," Lexie promised, still not knowing why she felt reluctant to tell him. "Either way, Mass Gen and Hopkins are fantastic, but they don't have you…I was thinking, if the offer still stands, that I'd love to be your fellow." Lexie admitted, laughing when Amelia shrieked and hugged her. After the brief celebration, Lexie grabbed the chart from Amelia's hand before walking into the patient's room.

"G-Grey, t-t-this is m-my E-Eli-Elijah." Jane gushed as soon as she spotted Lexie. Jane's parietal tumor had mostly presented as stuttering and irregular vision issues, due to the tumor's close proximity to the occipital lobe.

"Nice to finally meet you Elijah, Jane has told me a lot about you." Lexie smiled, shaking his hand before checking Jane's scans. Within seconds, Jane as the nurses began to prep Jane. They were leaving to take her to the OR when Elijah pulled Lexie aside.

"Dr. Grey…tell me that you can fix her. Tell me that you'll bring her back alive. She's my entire world." Elijah asked, his eyes still focused on Jane.

"Elijah, I can't make promises, but I am going to whatever I can to get her through this." Lexie grasped his hand in comfort, knowing exactly how he felt. After the plane crash, all four survivors had come back to Seattle. Lexie's injuries were mostly minor, but Mark was in a coma for a month. She had spent most of that time by his side, hoping that she wouldn't have to lose him. Lexie squeezed Elijah's hand reassuringly before moving to leave, but Elijah's voice called after her.

"…I was going to propose. Before all of this happened…I've had the ring for months. Just please—please bring her back in one piece." Lexie nodded before continuing to walk away, resisting the urge to find Mark and make sure he was still in one piece.

Amelia was in the scrub room when Lexie got there, and looked much more confident than Lexie felt. That itself was enough to make Lexie feel less anxious about what they were about to go into. The two women walked into the operating room, and Lexie wasted no time getting into the craniotomy.

"Alright, once the bone flap is out be careful with the endoscope." Amelia advised, though Lexie didn't respond. She knew just how important it was for her not to make a mistake.

"The tumor is a lot closer to the occipital than we initially thought, but I'm sure I can still get it." Lexie sighed. She didn't do anything, still mapping out the surgery in her head. After a few minutes, Lexie finally started the resection.

She was finally starting to make some progress when there was an unexpected bleed.

"Amy, suction!" Lexie ordered, immediately moving the endoscope to find the bleed.

"BP is 82/60." Amelia announced. Lexie tried not to panic as she finally found the bleed and carefully cauterized it. "110/74, we're good." She let out a breath of relief as she continued with the resection. They were in the OR for hours by the time Lexie had finally removed the last of the tumor.

"Images look good, we got it all Amy!" Lexie cheered, the pressure in her chest finally releasing. She loved the high that surgery gave her, it had been a long time since she'd felt this powerful and in control.

"That was all you, babe. I can close if you want to go give Elijah the good news," Amelia offered. Lexie grinned at Amelia as she removed her scrubs and went to the waiting room. Elijah's look of worry melted as soon as he saw the smile on Lexie's face.

"Jane is fine, there was a minor bleed initially, but I got the entire tumor." Lexie announced. Elijah hugged Lexie tightly, and when he pulled away she saw that he was crying.

"I spent this whole time preparing for the worst," Elijah admitted, wiping away his tears, "I'm going to propose when she wakes up. Thank you." Elijah hugged her once more before she headed back towards the OR.

"You look happy." Lexie jumped at the sound of Jackson's voice.

"Based on what I saw this morning, you do too." Lexie replied, pausing before she continued speaking. "Jackson, I never told you how sorry I was about what happened with us. I really did think I was over Mark, but I obviously wasn't and I hurt you…and I treated you like crap after the crash even though you were just looking out for me. I hope you can forgive me." Lexie apologized, finally understanding that Jackson was just trying to be her friend.

"I already forgave you, don't worry about it. You've been through enough." Jackson reassured her, patting her shoulder before walking away. Lexie walked back into the scrub room, watching as the nurses took Jane back to her room. Amelia finally joined her after a few minutes.

"Elijah was thrilled. He's going to propose." Lexie gushed, still feeling over the moon.

"The tough part is over, though Jane still might need some speech therapy. You did great, Lexie. You're going to make a fantastic neurosurgeon." Amelia praised, laughing when Lexie hugged her tightly in response. "Now go home, you've been here for way too long." Amelia shoved Lexie out of the scrub room. Instead of leaving, she walked to Mark's office, knowing he'd be there.

"Guess who just resected a parietal tumor all by herself." Lexie announced herself, plopping down next to him on the sofa.

"Lexie Grey, you're phenomenal." Mark whispered, pulling Lexie into his lap and immediately leaning down to kiss her. She giggled in response, gladly kissing him back. When he pulled back, she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth.

"Marry me, Mark Sloan."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

" _Marry me, Mark Sloan."_

"Huh?" Mark retreated immediately, his eyebrows immediately furrowing in confusion.

"I mean I know this is a horrible way to propose, but Mark, will—will you marry me?" Lexie repeated, biting her lip as Mark continued to stare at her blankly. Lexie tried not to laugh at his reaction. She had never seen Mark this lost for words.

"You want to get married?" Mark stood up, still just staring at her in shock.

"Yes…unless you don't want to," Lexie added before standing in front of him, knowing this was probably a surprise to him. She had always been afraid of going forward and planning a future.

"No, no! I want to, I just—you're serious?" Mark's hands moved to rest on her waist, the look in his eyes almost childlike. Lexie couldn't resist smiling at the sight.

"I had this patient, and it just struck me…that Meredith…Meredith is," Lexie took a deep breath before she continued. "Meredith and Derek are dead, and you were in a coma for a month and it was hell. Screw taking it slow. I don't want to waste any more time." Lexie admitted, her nervousness building as Mark continued to stay silent for a minute.

"You're sure you're not just asking because you're afraid to lose me?" Mark asked gently, trying not to get his hopes up just yet. He'd pressured Lexie into moving forward too many times and he wasn't sure he'd be able to recover if she changed her mind.

"Yeah, I'm scared…but I also know I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband. I want to make a future with you. I want to make a family with you. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for the time we lost because I was stupid enough to let go of you. It's not a choice anymore, you're stuck with me." Lexie declared, resting her arms around his neck as she waited for an answer.

"I could never be stuck with you, little Grey. You're everything I want. Yes, I'll marry you." Mark replied, kissing her deeply enough to prove it to her. Lexie felt an immense love for Mark in that moment. He was everything she wanted and more, and she couldn't believe that it had taken her this long to realize it.

Mark continued to kiss her, but Lexie eventually moved away. She bit her lip nervously, not entirely sure what to feel. She and Mark hadn't been together sexually for a long time, and she just felt insecure. Sex had always been something comforting for them, but now it just felt foreign.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked, sitting down and pulling Lexie into his lap. He was elated that she'd finally told him she wanted a future with him, but knew her well enough to know when she wasn't comfortable.

"I just haven't been with anyone in a while. The last time I was with anyone was over a year ago, and I have scars…from the crash." Lexie explained reluctantly. Her few injuries from the crash had left scars on her leg and abdomen, and she knew that Mark had plenty of scars of his own.

"Lex, you're beautiful." Mark whispered, kissing Lexie gently on the lips before trailing kisses down her neck. She sighed in pleasure, but moved away once more.

"I'd love for you to make love to me, but I really don't want our first time after so long to be on the sofa in your office after I've worked a 30-hour shift," Lexie joked. "You're mine, Mark Sloan. We have all the time in the world." She gave Mark one more chaste kiss before standing up. He didn't let her go so easily, instead choosing to pull her back down on top of him.

"Little Grey, you're going to be the death of me." Mark sighed, simply choosing to hold Lexie this time. Despite the twinge of pain at her old nickname, she couldn't help but find it comforting, in a way. It was Mark's nickname for her before anyone else, and he was the only one left who would ever use it.

"I can't wait to be your wife." Lexie sighed, burying her face in the crook of his neck. The two of them sat there for a while, though reality eventually interrupted them and Mark's pager went off. "Go, I'll pick up Zola and wait for you in the lobby." Lexie climbed off of Mark's lap and pushed him out of the room.

Before he walked out, he turned back around and pulled Lexie into a hug. "I can't wait to be your husband. I love you." He finally let go and grinned at her before rushing down the hallway. The gesture made Lexie laugh and she followed suit and made her way back to the resident's lounge to get dressed before heading to daycare. Callie was waiting with Sofia when she got there.

"Hey Callie, hi Sofia." Lexie greeted, kissing Sofia on the cheek. Sofia laughed and kicked her feet at the sight of her. Lexie picked up Zola before joining Callie. "Hey, would you mind taking Zola for the night?" Lexie blurted.

"Um, yeah, sure. Can I ask why?" Callie raised an eyebrow at Lexie's sudden blush.

"Uh…I-I kinda just proposed to Mark, and tonight may be, you know, the night." Lexie stammered, while Callie gaped at her.

" _You_ proposed to him? Wow, I did not expect that." Callie chuckled, shifting Sofia into one of her arms. "I'll take her. Maybe an extra baby will cheer Arizona up." Callie gestured for Lexie to hand her Zola. She kissed Zola on the cheek before handing her and the diaper bag over.

"I owe you," Lexie promised, kissing Zola and Sofia goodbye a few more times before heading to the lobby. Never in a million years had Lexie expected to basically be raising not one, but two babies with Mark. She had never wanted it, yet here she was absolutely loving it. When she got to the lobby, she was greeted by Owen Hunt instead of Mark.

"Lexie, Sloan told me to tell you he's just checking on his post-ops." Owen informed her, though he seemed to have more on his mind. They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before Owen finally asked her what he wanted to know.

"Have you heard from Cristina?" Lexie wasn't surprised by the question, she knew Cristina hadn't been speaking to Owen much lately, aside from discussing the lawsuit against the airline.

"Yeah, we try to talk at least once or twice a week…she's good, says she's learning a lot." Lexie answered cautiously, not feeling the need to mention that Cristina was sleeping with someone else and not making any plans to come back.

"That's good. That's great, actually," Owen muttered. "Anyways, I should go." Owen gave her a small smile before walking away. Luckily, Mark showed up soon after, so Lexie just brushed off the encounter.

"Hey, where's Zola?" Mark asked, wrapping an arm over Lexie's shoulders.

"Callie has her for the night…I figured we deserve a night to ourselves…" Lexie trailed off, wrapping an arm around him as they walked out to the parking lot. They walked to the car in silence and Lexie was about to walk to the other side when Mark pulled her into a passionate kiss. He pressed her against the side of the SUV and Lexie lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist as he continued to kiss her.

They stood there making out for nearly ten minutes before Mark finally let go of her. Mark chuckled at the sight of Lexie. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were perfectly swollen. She looked as innocent as she had the night she'd shown up at his hotel room all those years ago.

"Teach me. Right?" Lexie muttered, knowing exactly where his mind was. That night would always be one of the best times of her life. Mark laughed breathlessly, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder for a moment before retreating and letting her back onto the ground. "Let's go home now." Lexie kissed Mark on the cheek and handed him her car keys before getting into the passenger's seat. The drive home was a haze as the sexual tension between them grew. By the time they got to the house, it was unbearable.

They had just gotten in through the door when Mark pulled her back into his arms. She moaned as he kissed her, letting her purse fall from her hands onto the floor. Lexie pulled her jacket off, tossing it on the sofa before doing the same with Mark's coat.

Lexie gasped when Mark lifted her up, wasting no time as he carried her to the bedroom. She giggled as he dropped her on the bed, though her amusement washed away as soon as his lips were back on her own. Mark pulled away briefly to pull off his shirt, and Lexie was speechless at the sight of him. His body was perfectly sculpted, and she wondered how she'd gone so long without him. She lifted a hand to his chest, tracing his scars with her fingers.

The memory of giving him a pericardiocentesis in the woods flashed in her mind.

"You almost died." Lexie's voice shook, but she continued to trace her fingers over his chest. Even with the scars, she loved his body. She always had.

"But I didn't, I'm right here." Mark countered, lifting her hand and placing a soft kiss on her palm. Lexie smiled at the gesture before finally climbing off of the bed. She took off her shirt slowly, tossing it aside as she kicked her shoes off and unbuttoned her jeans and pulling them off. Mark watched her, his hunger growing with each second.

Mark grabbed her arm, tugging her back towards him. He stood up, his hands moving to her waist before he trailed hot kisses along her collarbone and up to her neck. She moaned as his lips met the sensitive junction between her shoulder and neck. All of Lexie's anxiety melted away as his hands wandered over her. It didn't take long for him to unclasp her bra and pull it off, and Lexie gasped as she felt his lips meet the soft flesh of her breast. Mark's tongue traced her nipple before he gave it chaste suck, sending a jolt of pleasure through her body. He repeated his actions on the other side, loving Lexie's reactions. Her body was so receptive to his touch.

Lexie's arousal spiked with every suck and nip of Mark's lips. Her hands buried in his hair as his lips traveled down her body. The feeling of his rough palms against her bare skin was so familiar and comforting. She couldn't stop herself from moaning as his mouth met the skin of her thigh.

"Lex, you're perfect." Mark whispered, taking his time to pull her panties off before finally bringing his lips to her aching core. She could feel her climax building as his thumb met her clit. It was like her body was on fire; every kiss, every touch was slowly driving her over the edge.

"I need you, right now. Please, Mark." Lexie begged. She had never wanted Mark so badly in her life. As he pulled away, Lexie sat up on the bed before tugging him by the waistband. She pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, her impatience getting the best of her. He gladly complied with her actions, stripping down until they were both completely bare.

Lexie kissed Mark hesitantly, though he immediately responded to her actions. His hands grasped her hips as he pushed her back down onto the bed. Her arms circled his neck as her kisses grew more urgent. Lexie moaned loudly as Mark finally entered her, though she was soon silenced by his tongue darting into her mouth. She moaned with every movement, loving the closeness between them.

"More," She begged, her moans getting louder as his thrusts slowly became more intense. His fingers met her clit once more, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from Lexie. She couldn't take it anymore.

It didn't take long before Lexie cried out in pleasure as she climaxed, soon followed by Mark. The soulmates laid together contentedly as they came down from their pleasure high, entirely satisfied as they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The two of them were finally exactly where they were meant to be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

Lexie woke up with a soft gasp, tears welling in her eyes as she sat up. Glancing over at the clock, she realized it was nearly 5am and Mark was still asleep beside her. Lexie silently slid out of the bed to sit in the living room until she could calm down and get ready for work. Her nightmares weren't as severe or frequent as before, but the memories were still haunting her.

What she didn't expect was to see Callie Torres sitting on the sofa.

"Callie?" Lexie questioned as she approached her. "What are you doing here?"

"Arizona tried to kick me out of our apartment last night, so I came here. Sofia is sleeping with Zola in her crib." Callie explained, turning to face Lexie. Her look of exasperation quickly shifted to worry when she saw the tears on Lexie's face. "Hey, are you okay? What happened?" Callie pulled Lexie down on the sofa next to her.

"I'm fine," Lexie lied, waiting a few moments before continuing. "I've been having these nightmares sometimes…Derek and Meredith died, and somehow I'm alive and I can't help but feel like I've stolen their life. I am a fraud." Lexie absentmindedly stroked the sofa cushion.

"A fraud?" Callie questioned, not knowing what to make of the statement.

"I am literally living my sister's life. I live in the house she and Derek built and I'm raising her daughter. I'm even getting married." Lexie stopped, her frustration growing with each word. "Meredith and Derek wanted a family so badly. They wanted a baby and spent months trying and then months waiting for Zola. They built this house so that they could fill it with more babies and grow old together. They wanted a happy future together, and now I have all of it. I stole it." Lexie rambled, folding her hands together as she resisted her intense urge to throw something.

"You didn't steal anything. You never wanted this." Callie reasoned, tightening her hold on Lexie's hands. "You have PTSD. You have nightmares, you wake up crying, and you feel guilty for surviving, but you are not at fault here."

"It's not even that…I don't feel guilty. I feel pissed. I'm pissed that Meredith and Derek survived a shooting, and then got killed in a damn plane crash. The chances of dying in a plane crash are one in five million and somehow, we had _two_ people die. How is that fair?" Lexie's voice broke. "Damn it, now I'm going to cry again." Lexie tried to laugh it off as she wiped her tears away.

"It's normal to be pissed, Lexie. We're all pissed." Callie assured, patting Lexie's back as she continued. "The other night Mark tried talking to Arizona about her prosthesis, and she almost threw a vase at him." Lexie couldn't help but laugh at that visual.

"Thank you for letting me unload on you…and I'm sorry that your wife kicked you out of your apartment." Lexie gave Callie a half smile and a pat on the leg. They were soon interrupted by Zola's fussing on the baby monitor. "I'll get the kids. Wanna start on breakfast?" She suggested, getting off the sofa. Callie nodded and Lexie walked to Zola's bedroom. When she got there, Mark was already lifting Zola out of her crib.

"When did you wake up?" Lexie walked over to the crib to check on Sofia.

"About half an hour ago, but I heard you and Torres talking and I didn't want to bother you." Lexie groaned at the realization that Mark had probably heard the entire conversation. The look on his face was enough to confirm her suspicions. "Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares?"

"I didn't want to worry you. They don't happen very often anymore." Lexie shrugged, lifting a drowsy Sofia from the crib and bouncing her softly. Sofia leaned her head on Lexie's shoulder as she woke up.

"What are they about?" Mark pressed for more details, not at all satisfied with Lexie's answer.

"They—sometimes they're about Meredith dying in my arms…but they're mostly about _you_ nearly dying in my arms." Lexie glanced up at Mark, not knowing what to think of the blank expression on his face. Mark hadn't exactly spoken to Lexie about the accident either. The two of them had been so busy with protecting each other, they hadn't stopped to think about their own trauma.

"You should've told me." Mark frowned at her. He changed Zola's diaper and clothes while Lexie did the same with Sofia. They'd gotten pretty used to taking care of both kids, especially with Arizona getting into the thick of physical therapy.

"I know, I should've told you everything. I just wanted our relationship to be stress free. We both need something stress free." Lexie hated that she'd hid her feelings from him in the first place.

"And you're not a fraud. You didn't take this from Meredith and Derek, you're just moving on. We're moving on, and it's good, but feeling good is awful without Meredith and Derek." Mark admitted. Lexie wasn't surprised that he knew exactly how she felt. He was pretty good at knowing what she was thinking.

"Callie's making breakfast. We should join her." Lexie changed the subject, though she walked over and kissed Mark's cheek before they went to the kitchen. They put the kids down in their high chairs, where their eggs were already waiting.

"Hey lovebirds," Callie greeted, grinning at the engaged couple. It had been a month since Lexie's impromptu proposal, but they hadn't really announced it yet. So far only Callie, Arizona, and Amelia knew about it. "I have surgery in about an hour, and I have to stop at the apartment and change. I'll see you guys later." Callie grabbed her purse and kissed Sofia and Zola goodbye before leaving the house.

"Mark, this is the third time this week that Callie has stayed the night." Lexie pointed out after Callie left. Lexie was certainly grateful that Callie had helped her calm down this morning, but three days of basically living with her fiancé's best friend was starting to get on her nerves just a bit.

"What am I supposed to do, kick her out?"

"Of course not, but maybe I could talk to Arizona. It might help." Lexie pondered, handing Mark a plate of food before grabbing toast and bacon for herself. Callie was overstaying her welcome a little bit, but at least she could cook.

"Did you not hear that she almost threw a vase at me?" Mark complained. Lexie laughed at the offended expression on his face.

"I mean, I can understand why. You were injured, you were in a coma, and now you're fine. She was injured, nearly died, and then had her leg amputated." Lexie reasoned. "Arizona needs to be reminded that her life isn't over, and she will recover from this." Lexie couldn't help but be a little upset with Arizona. Yes, she had lost her leg, but she still had so much; she still had her life and her family, and she was taking it for granted.

"That's…actually a good point." Mark conceded, finishing his food before cleaning up. Lexie went to go wash her plate, only for Mark to pull it out of her hands and lift her onto the counter before kissing her gently. Lexie giggled, gladly kissing him back.

"You are insatiable." Lexie spoke between kisses, pulling away reluctantly when she glanced over and saw Zola throwing her eggs on the floor. "The kids are here, and we have work. We should stop."

"You of all people know that I can work fast." Mark commented, smirking as he resumed his activities. They had certainly been enjoying their engagement the last few weeks. He kissed her again, only to be distracted by Sofia shrieking and slamming her hands down on her high chair.

"Little miss, you want all your daddy's attention, don't you?" Lexie cooed, jumping off the counter. She and Mark went to change out of their pajamas before cleaning up after the kids and heading out. It didn't take long for them to get to work and drop the kids off at daycare.

"What's the schedule for the day?" Mark asked as he walked Lexie to the resident's lounge.

"Amelia and I have a consult for a brain tumor, and then we're doing a temporal lobectomy." Amelia had been lining up surgeries for the two of them and trying to expose Lexie to every major neurosurgical procedure before her board exam. "What about you?"

"I have a facial reanimation surgery with Avery," Mark was just as excited to teach Jackson as Lexie was to learn form Amelia. In all honestly, Lexie found the bromance between Mark and Jackson kinda cute, albeit a little odd.

"Ooh, I've never seen one. Maybe I'll watch." Lexie took Mark's face in her hands and gave him a chaste kiss before they went their separate ways. She was halfway through changing into her scrubs when she got a 911 page. Amelia was waiting for her when she got to the patient's room. It was their tumor consult patient, Peter Barnes.

"What happened?" Lexie asked, pulling her lab coat on as she watched Amelia test his pupillary response.

"His tumor presents as a seizure. He has a grade IV astrocytoma in the frontal lobe, but it's inoperable. We can't do anything." Amelia declared, handing Lexie the scans. She inspected them for a few minutes when she realized why it looked so familiar.

"Wait, a butterfly tumor in the frontal lobe? Your brother operated on a tumor exactly like this a year ago. He reached under the pericallosal vessels and reached the tumor on both sides. This tumor isn't inoperable. We should at least run an MRA." Lexie insisted. Amelia didn't respond, she just smiled at Lexie. "You were testing me, weren't you?" Lexie narrowed her eyes at Amelia, who just laughed.

"I was, and you passed. I already ran an MRA. His surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. You're so ready for your board exam." Amelia gushed. "Speaking of which, Mark still doesn't know. When are you telling him?"

"I'll tell him after I've taken it. I know you already committed to a case in Denver that week, so I have an excuse to be out of town." Lexie pointed out, ignoring the look she got from Amelia.

"Lexie, what is the point of hiding it? He's going to find out eventually."

"Then he can find out after I've taken it. I promise to tell him the moment I find out my results, you can hold me to that." Lexie lifted her hands in surrender as she left the room to prepare for her temporal lobectomy. She couldn't help but feel exhilarated. She was single handedly doing procedures that some experienced attendings couldn't even perform.

Lexie's life was seriously looking up, and for the first time in months she felt like the universe might not be so bad.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary: Lexie never imagined her life would end up this way. Following the sudden death of Meredith and Derek in a plane crash, Lexie must find a way to cope with the new responsibility of raising her niece, all the while trying to move on with her life. AU in which Mark and Lexie live.**

 **...**

"Mark, for the last time, I swear I'm okay." Lexie insisted, pushing Mark's hands away from her as they walked into work. This morning she'd been so exhausted that she sat down in the shower, and now Mark was convinced she was terminally ill. "I'm a resident. I work long shifts. I'm tired. It's normal."

"Fine, just take it easy, please." Mark sighed, kissing Lexie on the forehead. They dropped Zola off at daycare before going their separate ways. Lexie was heading out of the resident's lounge to find Amelia when she heard Dr. Webber's voice calling out her name. She turned to find him, her eyes widening when she realized he was standing and conversing with both Mark and Catherine Avery.

"Dr. Webber, what can I do for you?" Lexie asked, giving Mark a look of panic as she avoided eye contact with Catherine. Lexie was definitely afraid to confront her ex-boyfriend's mother right now, especially since she had been the one to break said ex-boyfriend's heart.

"Dr. Grey, I just wanted to introduce you to Dr. Catherine Avery. I don't think you've ever met." Dr. Webber smiled at Lexie. He'd been especially kind and protective of Lexie ever since the plane crash. She figured it was because of his involvement in Thatcher's life and his high regard for Meredith and Derek.

"Dr. Avery, it's great to finally meet you." Lexie forced a smile as she shook Catherine's hand, and pushed back her urge to vomit.

"Likewise, and congratulations on passing your board certification early. I was surprised to hear that you completed it in Philadelphia." Catherine responded as she shook Lexie's hand. Lexie's heart stopped at Catherine's words, and her urge to vomit returned tenfold.

"Alexandra Caroline Grey, you did _what?"_ Mark exclaimed. To her relief, Lexie's pager went off before she could respond.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Catherine," Lexie excused herself, laughing nervously as she turned away. Before she could even make it down the hallway, Mark had caught up to her.

"Lexie, we're getting married, and you didn't think it was important to tell me you passed your boards?" Mark was fuming.

"Come on, it's really not a big deal—" Lexie argued, annoyed that Catherine Avery had been the one to tell him. Though, to be fair, Lexie had been the one stupid enough to try and keep it a secret in the first place.

"The hell it isn't!" Mark interrupted, crossing his arms.

"If you had let me finish, I was going to say that it's not a big deal because I'm staying here. I'm still technically Amelia's resident for the next couple months and I've already verbally committed to a fellowship here. I'm just board certified now." Lexie explained, hoping it would calm Mark down a little bit.

"It's still a decision we should've made together. You don't need stay here just because of me. We're engaged, we're raising children together, you need to talk to me about things like this." Lexie rolled her eyes at his insinuation. He had to know that she wouldn't just make life decisions without thinking it through.

"So first you were angry that I didn't tell you, and now you're upset that my decision is to stay here? This decision is easy, Mark. I knew I wanted to stay here even before we got back together. My life is here, and my family is here. Why are you upset about that?" Lexie huffed. Mark didn't respond for a minute, he just glared at her.

"You see, this is what you do. It's like when your dad needed a liver transplant, you didn't even consult me before offering to give him part of your liver. Then when Sloan showed up you just shut down and walked out without discussing it with me. You make all the decisions by yourself and then expect me not to get upset, Lex. You're not alone anymore, stop acting like you are." Lexie gaped at Mark's words, resisting the urge to smack him.

"Seriously? You're going to throw that in my face? You are such a hypocrite! _You_ are the one who decided to let Sloan move in without speaking to me first, and then you sprung it on me and made me cut the tip of my finger off. Then you decided you wanted to raise her baby, again, all on your own. You never even gave me a chance to discuss it. Then you had sex with Callie and made a baby with her and didn't even tell me properly. You ambushed me and just expected me to go along with it, like you always do! I am not ambushing you or making any major decisions for you. You already live here and work with me!" Lexie poked his chest as her pager went off again. She huffed, throwing her arms up in exasperation before walking away, and this time Mark didn't follow her.

Lexie couldn't believe how horribly the conversation had gone. She had never expected him to get that upset with her about keeping it a secret, and she certainly hadn't expected for him to blame her and bring up all their past issues. Lexie felt like crying, but ignored the feeling as she ran down to the pit.

April was waiting for her when she finally got down to the trauma room in the ER.

"This is Peter Evans, 21 years old, suffered severe trauma to the head after being hit by car. He presented with a GCS of 3 and Shepherd ordered a head CT." Kepner explained, handing Lexie the scans. By the looks of it, the patient had severe cerebral edema and blossoming contusions.

"Damn it, he needs a decompressive craniectomy. Take him to OR 2 immediately, prep him, and someone page Dr. Shepherd!" Lexie ordered. The nurses rushed him out of the trauma room.

"I paged Shepherd already, she didn't respond. She had another emergent patient." Kepner explained. Lexie sighed in annoyance, she'd be on her own for this one.

"You five, come with me!" Lexie yelled at her interns as she ran towards the operating room. They followed her and she went to go scrub in. She tried not to feel nervous as she entered the OR; Amelia had taught her everything, so she knew she was prepared for this.

"Ross, Brooks, you'll assist. The rest of you will observe and stay out of my way unless I say otherwise, got it?" Lexie ordered, her nervousness slowly subsiding with every passing second.

Lexie made the incision into the scalp and was able to retract the scalp and temporalis muscle. She cut and retracted the pericranium before continuing with the craniotomy. She glanced up at her interns, all of which were completely enamored with the surgery. Lexie couldn't help but smile, remembering how unbelievable her first operation with Derek had been.

From there, Lexie had no problem completing the procedure. There were no complications, though based on the swelling, it was entirely possible that the patient would end up with deficits. By the time Amelia showed up, Lexie had already closed, sent the skull fragment to be preserved and was scrubbing out.

"You flew totally solo, Grey. How does it feel?" Amelia asked proudly, though she was surprised when Lexie started to laugh.

"I was terrified the whole time. God, I love brain surgery." Lexie grinned, drying her hands before attacking Amelia with a hug. It was only then that a wave of nausea and exhaustion hit again. "I need to sit down." Lexie declared before plopping down on the stool beside her.

"Sorry I wasn't here to help, I was called into emergency surgery. You okay?" Amelia asked, getting increasingly concerned when she saw that Lexie was breathing deeply with her eyes closed.

"I've been kinda lightheaded all day, and then I had a fight with Mark about my board exam. It's probably nothing." Lexie explained, still breathing deeply and resisting the urge to vomit. After a few more minutes of rest, Lexie tried to stand up again but was immediately hit by another wave of nausea. Amelia supported her, and helped her back onto the stool.

"It's not nothing. Have you eaten?"

"Not since breakfast."

"Ok, wait here." Amelia exited the room, gesturing for Lexie not to move.

Lexie rolled her eyes at the warning, and stood up anyways. She managed to exit the room, but before she could make her way down the hallway the nausea hit again and she reluctantly laid down on an empty gurney outside of the scrub room. Lexie was there for a few minutes, only to be found by Mark, Jackson, Catherine, and Richard, all of whom were in scrubs and caps.

"Lex, you okay?" Mark approached her, gesturing for Richard, Jackson, and Catherine to go ahead and scrub in. Lexie sat up and got off the gurney, her nausea finally starting to settle down.

"I'm fine, just making all the decisions by myself again." Lexie retorted, knowing she was being immature. She was still just a little bit pissed off.

"Fine, you made your point. We suck at communicating, but we'll talk about that later. Seriously, are you okay?" Mark asked again, resting his hands on her waist as he inspected her carefully.

"I'm fine," Lexie assured him and moved out of his arms, only to be hit by yet another wave. She grabbed him, and took a few more deep breaths.

"You're not fine." Mark sighed. "Have you eaten?"

"Not for a while. Go scrub in, Amelia's coming back to get me. I'm probably just dehydrated and hungry, I'll be okay." Lexie tried to pull away again, but Mark refused to let go of her. Luckily, Amelia showed up a few minutes later with water and granola bars.

"Amy, feed her and run her bloodwork. She collapsed in the shower this morning too." Mark ordered, kissing Lexie briefly before leaving to go scrub in.

"I did not collapse! I just sat down. I'm fine!" Lexie yelled after him. "Amelia, don't listen to him. I don't need bloodwork." She insisted, taking one of the granola bars and eating it, as though that would prove her point.

"He's right, this fatigue and nausea could be dehydration or low blood sugar, but that shouldn't be making you this unstable…Lexie…could you be pregnant?" Amelia asked reluctantly.

"Huh?" Lexie wasn't sure how to respond to that. She and Mark had certainly been more sexually active, but the idea that she could be pregnant was just insane.

"You know, with child? It would explain the nausea, sudden tiredness, and the weight gain." Amelia trailed off, though Lexie just gaped at her.

"What weight gain?" Lexie questioned, feeling mildly offended by the comment. She hadn't gained weight, had she? "I'm _not_ pregnant." She muttered, though she wasn't sure if she was talking to herself or Amelia.

"Your boobs are also somewhat larger, don't you think?" Amelia pointed out, ignoring the glare she got from Lexie.

"My boobs are the same, thank you very much." Lexie hopped off the gurney, happy to see that she no longer felt dizzy. She walked away, though Amelia followed.

"What if you are pregnant? Just take a test, and you'll know in minutes." Amelia argued, pulling Lexie into a supply room and grabbing two pregnancy tests and shoving them at her. "Take both, just to be sure."

"Amelia, I'm not going to do this. I am not pregnant." Lexie announced, crossing her arms indignantly. Amelia just rolled her eyes.

"If you're not pregnant, then it's just a waste of five minutes. Just take the damn test!" Amelia yelled, shoving the tests back at Lexie.

"Fine!" Lexie held her hands up in surrender, taking the two tests and heading to the resident's lounge. She figured a private bathroom was necessary for something like this, though Amelia still followed her into the bathroom and watched her as she took the tests. She set a timer and handed them to Amelia when she was done.

"Here, you can have them, since you're so convinced I'm pregnant." Lexie commented, washing her hands and leaning against the wall as they waited the three minutes. Her anxiety was building with every second. If she actually was pregnant, it would be tough.

She was in an extremely busy period of her life. She'd be a fellow in just a few months, which meant crazy hours and a ridiculous amount of work. Lexie was already basically raising two kids, she wasn't sure if adding another one to the mix was the greatest idea at the moment. The timer beeped, and she took a deep breath before finally looking at the two tests.


End file.
